Sitting outside Uncommon Ground under the hot sun watching the dark clouds loom in the distance. Barney sits on my lap and it's hard not to become distracted by the many people that walk by the table we sit at. Had a great weekend at Ausable Chasm in NY. Summer is here and my days consist of long bike rides, nights under the stars in a tent, drinking in front of the fires we make, sitting out in the sun, coffee breaks mid day, running along the waterfront, grilling with friends and days out on the boat, needless to say the summer looks promising.
My days remaining in VT are limited and as I began to look for apartments I realized that I would like to leave within the next 6-7 months. The options are endless. I could take after a close friend, drive across the country and find a place in California, I could go back to the city or a different city, I could go find a job somewhere in Europe, I could stay here, but for some odd reason I don't think sitting here on Church Street for another year or two will be as appealing as it is now. The endless redneck, no class conversations that take place within ear distance are amusing, comical if you will. "Rumor has it Susan is going to get me beat up," "Titttiieessss" The rasp of a lifelong smokers voice. The too fat, too tight, white trash people that stand outside the downtown mall. The endless amount of drama about who started shit first. Okay, okay. Maybe I'm being judgmental... maybe a bit too harsh. But in the end, do these people even care? As I ask myself this I wonder, why should they care? Are they going against the "norm"of society? Or do they feel like this is the crowd they fit into and to become anything more, or to want anything more would be stepping out of the only crowd they have known. Is this the same idea for those who are rich? For those people who have their cocktail parties, the endless banquets, and their yachts, if they ever wanted more or less would they go against their "norm?"
Are we so worried about our peers judging and not accepting us that we will follow the crowd that we view we fit into the most?
Will all the kids follow the cool kid in the sandbox to not be picked on? Will all the teenagers shop at American Eagle and Abercrombie and Fitch because those are seen as the "cool clothes" around the halls of their high school? Will all the college kids purchase fake ids and take shots with fellow classmates to not seem "lame?" Do these characteristics and simplified ideas follow us throughout our lives and into our careers?
Will we wear similar clothes to fit in with our friends? Will we try to impress our boss at a job we want by laughing at his jokes or speaking to him about indifferent matters?
When do we stop trying to fit into a certain crowd and stop searching for acceptance and just be? When do we stop waking up in the morning and putting safety pins through our eyebrows, short skirts around our waist, business suits upon our bodies? Do we need to do these things to get to where we want to be? Whether that be on a street corner or president of a large company, will we ever stop trying to fit into a certain crowd?
A secret smile. She walks by and it makes me feel great about what I'm doing. I look at him and feel Barney on my lap. The recognition is becoming obvious, the tries and changes are evident, it's a chance to make ones self better and I'm all about it, an advocate if you will. Everyone needs a little time for themselves every now and then and what better way.
The clouds are coming and the wind has picked up...Barney has fallen asleep and it's time for me to continue on with me day..
