Trying to move out and see more of another city, but trying to be financially secure before I take a leap into another adventure. Yes, I would love for that perfect job to fall into my lap and for me to say bon voyage to waitressing forever... I mean that is my ultimate goal.
I could always transfer with the VNA and then take the LNA course that they offer to see if I could really do the nursing thing.... could I? I don't know, it seems like it would be the logical thing to do right now, especially with the economy continuously plummeting and succeeding, how can anyone depend on a constant, steady income with the market making us nausea?
Well, applied for two other journalism jobs, one in California and one in Massachusetts, at this point all I am looking for is an interview. Wrote another email to my contact in London and now attempting at some research for my internship with the Literary Traveler. It's crazy how accomplishing these things can drastically change my mood and sense of confidence. But the fact of the matter is, I am in the same spot I was when I was complaining to my mom. I still do not have a concrete journalism job, I still have yet to figure out where I am moving and still have not landed an interview. Technicalities, can't let those kinda things get me down.
Shaking my head at the thought of it. Should I be as blunt to say that I think it is absolutely ridiculous to be buying a house with another man only 6 months after finalizing a divorce. Where is the logic? Where is the intelligence that I constantly see? Maybe it's just me, maybe I am being protective, maybe I am be cynical, I just feel that it is absurd. When I heard about this for the first time my mind instantly went to the what ifs.... What if they break up? What if she has to go through all the legal shit again? What if she can't afford this place without him?
From what I have heard, she could not afford this place on her own, without him. So why would she even consider it? I think it is crazy that at how quickly people/things can change.
This time last year was much different and I really liked it, it is as simple as that. I for once in my life had a sister. I had a sister that I could call a really great friend. I had a sister that I would go to and vent to, not just about the family but about things in my life. I had a sister that I would go to and talk with. Where has she gone? Where has the relationship dissipated to?
I know I can not lay all the blame on her, but when she was single and when she was free of any inhibition, she was fun. She stopped judging me for going out and stopped judging me for the clothes I wear and realized that she wanted to do and wear similar things. Now, I'm not leading you in a direction to think I dress badly or provocatively, not at all, but from as far as I can remember she has put me down, judged me and demanded things of me. She has somehow learned to take over the motherly role when my mom is absent and to her, this means telling me what to do and then yelling at me and calling me names when I refuse to it.
Am I really being lazy? Or am I defending myself?
She is a person that is determined and once she sets her mind to do something, she will do it. Good for her. I hope it works out. But I also hope and wish that the sister I know she can be wouldn't always disappear when a man walked into her life.
Still looking down the tunnel and trying to find my path... I go back to researching...
