My last post was in March... tisk tisk. There's really no excuse for it besides the fact that I have abandoned my writing for a while and taken a new route to focus on. I started working as a licensed nurse assistant and plan to use that as 'plan B' if finding a journalism job before I move to California does not pan out. It's great to have a back-up plan, but I would rather not use it as my crutch. Ideally, journalism is where I want to be.
Jazz fest in VT is this week. Burlington boy and I went to see Gerald Clayton's Trio last night at the FlynnSpace. It was beautiful. The piano was powerful, the drums were amazing and the bass held it all together. The performance was soothing; it swayed me into a state of relaxation, letting go of recent stress and allowing me to breathe easy. I watched the three embrace their music and let it consume them. They have found their niche. Do they realize that they have found it? Do they feel that this is their niche? A lot of the time I feel like I am searching. I try to let go. I try to let go of the flashlight that lights the way and guides my search. I try to breathe easy like so often recommended, and last night at this performance I turned off that flashlight, I dropped it on the floor and I let myself breathe easy. I let myself drift, I let my eyes close and let the music, their music consume me. For that short period of time, their music became my niche.
Settle down. Relax. Be here. In this moment. A few simple things that are my biggest challenges. All I want is to keep going. All I want is to achieve what I need to complete in order to get out of here. This intangible title, this 'ticket,' I want it and often feel like I need it to plan my escape.
Just a few days before I know... just a few more days.
