As I drove to work at 5:30 this morning, the familiar thought of departure crept into my mind. However, the usual feelings of excitement and eagerness did not visit me this morning, instead I was confronted with a feeling of fear. I think for the first time in planning this excursion I realized that it is not just a trip, it is a trip and a landing. I will not be returning to Vermont for a long while... I will not be returning to Vermont permanently for a long while. The most important question came to mind, 'when will I see my family again?' And that is where it began.
I have no idea.
After moving back to Vermont in 2008 and expecting a short stay of six months, I am still here two years later. I am not quite sure where the days went, but I am grateful for the time I have had back in my home state. Of course it is normal for this feeling of fear to arise when making a drastic change and I understand that. I felt the same type of fear when I moved back home two years ago. But things worked out... really well. I adapted and am happy I stayed, but it is now truly time for me to keep moving.
So back to this realization that I am leaving Vermont again and that there is an immense amount of uncertainty. This is a risk, but without risks... would we really be living? I am excited and when it comes down to it I know I will see my family as soon as things settle down a bit and hopefully they will feel brave enough to travel across the country. ;-)
Two week notices will be put in place on Wednesday to all jobs and from there on out it is a battle of packing the necessities, saying goodbye and tying the loose ends together. Until then I continue to cherish my work, contemplate decisions and brace myself.
Saturday night and I have to be up in 6 hours for work in the am... God Bless.
