"But it doesn't really matter anymore..."

The tear rolls down my cheek and I click 'new post.'

I silently packed tonight. I silently folded the clothes and carefully placed them in my suitcase. It has come and is now going, a brief trip home and I will return to the west coast.

I don't really know what my problem is. It hits the bed.

'say your goodbyes, and off we go.' 'some conversation, no contemplation, hit the road.'

I can't sit still long enough to just stop. The choice was made. It was out of my hands. This feeling is not about that.

I sat at the bar surrounded by best friends.

My last full day tomorrow before I go back. What do I want to do? I am scheduled to run 17 miles. I accomplished eight tonight with some lifting. I gave my thoughts one mile before I shut down, shut off and simply glided for the last seven miles. This won't matter in two weeks. This won't matter on Thursday.

It just doesn't matter.