I had a meeting today with my Wise Accomplice and swam between not having anything to speak of to not knowing how to explain my feelings. I had plenty to speak of, my recent epiphany, my anxious feelings about this move, the dreaded talk, my dreams and my recent accomplishes, but sometimes when I go and sit down I feel resolved, happy to be where I am. I take this time with my Accomplice to realize how great I have been doing. It is often much easier when she points out where I use to be and I realize where I am now and how far I have come. There are always things to work on, with myself, with relationships, with work, with life, but it is often a more positive experience when I can target things on my own and zero in on the reality of them.
I spoke to my Accomplice today about meltdowns... lets face it people, we all have them. I told her that some days it is so easy to just realize and see a situation in it's entirety, but then other days I am blurred by this lens of abandonment, jealousy, sadness or anxiety that I can't see the situation in it's actuality. She then proceeded to ask me if I had ever heard of Wise Mind, the blending of your emotions and reasonability. It's brilliant.
Often we allow our emotions to take over a situation. We take these feelings, such as abandonment, that are created from a small occurrence and allow it to fester, grow and expand, this is the emotional side of our brain taking over. Other days we have the ability to see a situation as it truly is and step away from it with reasonability. The wise mind is blending both of these together, realizing that we may be upset about something but continue to use reasonable consciousness to resolve, grow and move on from it.
It's brilliant and I can totally relate.
So yesterday, according to Hal Higdon, I was scheduled to do my 7 mile run for my training. I ran 7.1 miles last night with Bashful Burlington Boy in 59 minutes and 57 seconds. He told me that I had 20 seconds to make it to the end without going over an hour, so I took my reserved energy and ran full speed. I could feel my whole abdomen in action and my legs were just following behind, I feel extremely proud of myself.
As I am in my 7th week of training, I have continued to learn methods that have really helped me. The first lesson or step was to get new sneakers, an amazing change in my motivation and overall running experience. The second lesson was to shut the little person up that exists in my head. The one that whines when it hurt and moans at the beginning. I have learned to tune her out and focus on the falling of my feet upon the pavement. The third lesson I taught myself: when I am at the bottom of a hill, I recognize that I need to get to the top and will not stop, so I have taught myself to merely but my head down and just go. I have learned to put my arms as straight as possible where they are still supportive to my stride. I have taught myself not to look up unless I can handle what still stands in front of me. It has been tremendously helpful. The fourth lesson I have learned was to run with my hips on flats, it has been aiding in my conservation of energy and tightening my buns. Excellent! The fifth lesson I have learned was to not look at the run as a whole, but to take it section by section, hill by hill and turn by turn. I anticipate certain hills and I forget about the finish line because I know what is going to challenge me and what needs my attention.
So I mentioned my accomplishing day towards the top, I sent out over 7 emails to local newspapers around town. I am determined to get back into my freelance writing. I have heard back from 4, 2 of which asked for writing samples and 2 of which reported that they have nothing currently available. 2 for 2 isn't bad. I feel good about taking the time to send out my resume and cover letter and trying. It's all I can do right now is try.
Bashful Burlington Boy and I went and saw 'Julie and Julia' last night. I loved it, my type of movie, food, journalism, women power AND it was funny. Sometimes I think, 'damn, why couldn't I have thought to do that, what a GREAT idea and look at all the publicity it got and how quickly it jump-started her journalism career,' but I guess we all have our own routes to getting to where we want to be. Bashful boy mentioned blogging about my training, I could start now and I probably will, but when I run the whole marathon I will definitely blog about it. The thing with that is, people do that all the time, I would like it to be original like this movie, completely original, but I often feel like it's difficult to think of things that have not already been thought up. I guess I just need to zero in on my creative side....
MAYBE I'll focus on my quilt making... or maybe I'll keep writing like this.... any suggestions...? Anyone...?
1 comment:
Keep writing!!! :)
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